


Tracing the stars that line your life

by HashtagHusky



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, I promise, It Will Be Okay, M/M, SO SAD, Sadness, based off my life rn, but only the romance bit, im sorry, mentions of self harm, not the bad bits, please dont hate me, real sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-24 05:30:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12006057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HashtagHusky/pseuds/HashtagHusky
Summary: He didn’t care. He was happy for them. It didn’t matter that Carlos spent Valentine’s Day alone, drinking until he awoke with a sore head and dry mouth. It didn’t matter that Cecil spent it smiling and happy, cheerful as ever. Better now that Carlos was gone. Better now that his heart was cracking, breaking. Broken. Better now that he spent 47 hours straight in his lab because there was no one to remind him to come home. Better now that his bed was cold at nights, and the scars that decorated his arms were shameful.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey...  
> this is really sad  
> im sorry  
> it will be happy i promise

Carlos glanced over, feeling the tears sting his eyes.  
Cecil was happy now. Without him.  
Holding hands with earl and whispering the secrets of stars to each other late at night.  
He didn’t care. He was happy for them. It didn’t matter that Carlos spent Valentine’s Day alone, drinking until he awoke with a sore head and dry mouth. It didn’t matter that Cecil spent it smiling and happy, cheerful as ever. Better now that Carlos was gone. Better now that his heart was cracking, breaking. Broken. Better now that he spent 47 hours straight in his lab because there was no one to remind him to come home. Better now that his bed was cold at nights, and the scars that decorated his arms were shameful. 

Cecil saw him, looking his way as he held Earl’s cold, soft hand. Cecil saw him as he traced his hands over the latest radio script. Cecil worried about him when he didn’t see Carlos for four days straight because no one could get him out of his house. He worried about him when he saw the dark circles under his eyes, the holes in his shirts. 

Carlos was okay. Sure, sometimes he forgot to eat for a day or two, and sometimes Teddy Williams who worked at the local bowling alley (who was also a doctor, as all bowling alley owners must be), warned him that if he drank that much again he might not wake up, but he was okay. Carlos was just fine. 

Cecil was happy. Sure, sometimes he cried lavender-tinted tears into his pillow, and sometimes Cecil would automatically drive to the lab and then vacantly sit there for an hour, but Cecil was happy. 

Cecil didn’t miss the way Carlos would bring him flowers after his radio slot sometimes, or the way he would suggest songs for the weather. Carlos didn’t miss the way Cecil would go on and on about his hair on the radio, or the way he would get to watch Cecil ramble on about government conspiracies for hours at a time and then ask Carlos if it were scientifically accurate.

Carlos hadn’t bothered to eat or drink that day. Or the day before. Or the week before. He should probably eat. But he was so tired. So, so tired. And he was okay, he thought, black spots decorating his vision. He was okay.


	2. all the sacrifices I can't make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earl saw the way they looked at each other.   
> Quick glances across the room at emergency press conferences, the way Cecil would blush slightly afterwards and grab Earl’s hand, and Carlos would almost always excuse himself from the room shortly after he saw Cecil arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on adding another chapter?? but you guys liked it?? and i don't know about a happy ending yet but here ya go here's another chapter

Earl saw the way they looked at each other.   
Quick glances across the room at emergency press conferences, the way Cecil would blush slightly afterward and grab Earl’s hand, and Carlos would almost always excuse himself from the room shortly after he saw Cecil arrive. 

Earl wasn’t stupid. He knew what was happening. He and Cecil would lie intertwined, threading their lives through each other’s, and Earl would wonder where Cecil thoughts were, where the purple blush of his memories was. He knew that Cecil would never truly be his, that a small fraction of his soul was missing and forever gone. Earl knew who had that piece of him. 

Earl didn’t know if he was strong enough to let Cecil retrieve it. 

Earl knew that Carlos’s thoughts were heavier than the earth and worth more than the sun. Earl knew Carlos was so far from okay. Earl knew that Cecil needed Carlos. Earl knew that Carlos needed Cecil. But so did Earl. And he wasn’t quite brave enough to put Cecil first. 

Earl hated himself for that.

Earl hated himself for the fact that he couldn’t give Cecil what he needed. Earl hated himself for the fact that no matter how hard he tried, his best was never good enough. Earl hated himself. 

And he didn't know how to fix it.


	3. Nothing left to burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first thing Cecil noticed was the familiar sting of Earl’s voice. The way he talked like you meant the world to him, the way it almost hurt, his accent thick and beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh look who decided to update

The first thing Cecil noticed was the familiar sting of Earl’s voice. The way he talked like you meant the world to him, the way it almost hurt, his accent thick and beautiful. 

The second thing he noticed was the Carlos The Scientist was on his couch. Talking. Picking at his nails like they didn’t belong to him. Looking uncomfortable, downright exhausted, and upset, seemingly arguing with Earl. Snatches of conversation reached Cecil as he hung by the door, not knowing what to do.

Earl was on the verge of tears. He couldn’t see Cecil like that one more time. All he wanted was to give happiness to the person he loved more than anything. And he couldn’t do that without hurting. “Listen,” he said, the words coming out strangled and painful. “You know he’s not happy. I know he’s not happy. I don’t think I can do this anymore,” He whispered, his voice cracking as tears poured down his cheeks. “The only thing I can do now is give him a future he’ll enjoy. One that he’ll love. One I’m not in.” He said, his words edged with pain as he lost the one thing he had left. “Please,” He whispered one last time. “Take care of him.”


	4. The memories we couldn't afford to lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU GUYS FOR BEING BEAUTIFUL AND READING THIS <3 it means so much

Carlos’s bed was warm nowadays. He slept safely, soundly, wrapped in everything he wanted.

Cecil was happy. He ate real meals, and reported on every event in Night Vale. 

Earl wasn’t in Night Vale anymore. He lived amongst the stars in the sky, watching down on Cecil at night. He was scattered around the galaxy, colouring every turn. Earl would’ve been happy for him.

Earl was tracing the stars that lined his life. And that’s how Cecil knew he was going to be okay.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, earl did die.


End file.
